My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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