it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize