Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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