all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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