he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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