well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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