The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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