I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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