I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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