my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize