Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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