What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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