just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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