He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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