We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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