She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
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he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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