you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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