I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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