i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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