We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize