oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
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