Cold hands, warm shart.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize