I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wish I only lived at night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize