my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize