apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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