the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize