i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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