Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize