Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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