I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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