you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I bet he comes in French.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize