Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
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I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
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And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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