So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize