I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Oh god it's open bar.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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