I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
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Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
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So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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