Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They took my balls.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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