We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize