its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize