I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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