I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize