Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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