not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize