you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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