I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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