Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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