I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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