just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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