I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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