we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize