My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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